Monday, November 13, 2017

What am I happy about?

During briefing, I always found myself having difficulty to answer that particular question.

Whats that question?

"Tell us one thing that you're happy about today"

Well... it seems easy to answer but I just cant think of any.... happy that im still alive but barely breathing?

Its easy to say anything becuase no one will know how I really feel... but.... I cant even lie to myself.

I have no idea why I'm feeling this way but nothing's going smoothly. I cant make up my mind and have no courage to take my leave. "What will happen after i leave?" I'm afraid that the cold hard truth will be too cruel that I cant take it...

Why did you drop such text after so long of not replying? Why are you not cherishing whatever you had until I did this? Why does it seems to be my fault? Why am I feeling this way when I know the 2 of you are meeting? Whats wrong with me?

Why is it that you can take your time out for her but not me?

There's so many times that I almost did it but I stopped. Why cant any of you understand? Why am I putting in so much effort for nothing?